Symbiosis, Simpatico, and Bougainvillea

Attack of the Cuscota!

We have a beautiful balcony patio here in Mexico, with views of El Toro to the north and El Domo at the end of the Juluapan Peninsula to the south. The beach is a ten minute walk away. Most nights you can hear the waves crashing on the beach. There are several bougainvillea plants in the planter that surrounds our balcony which seem to be in constant bloom.

But this year when we arrived there were these strange yellow vines that were trying to strangle the bougainvillea. I had never seen this type of vine before. Trying to understand how to handle these vines sent me off on an examination of relationships.

This vine is called cuscota, or dodder, and it is a parasitic vine. Even after we had removed every single vine it kept coming back. Finally after a month I think we have it under control. There haven’t been any new vines for the past four days.

We had a bit of a debate as to whether or not the cuscota had a symbiotic relationship with the host plant. I had always thought that a “symbiotic” relationship was a good relationship. But I was technically wrong. There are five types of symbiosis in nature: those that are mutually beneficial to each species, those that benefit one species but don’t hurt the other species, parasitical relationships, which harm the host and help the parasite, predation, and competition.

A good example of the first type, called mutualism, is the relationship between honeybees and blooming plants. The plants rely on the bees and other pollinators to pollinate them, and the pollinators obtain nutrients from the flowering plants.

An example of the second type, called commensalism, could be trees and birds. The tree provides a nesting place for birds at little or no cost to itself (although in this example the tree may obtain some nominal benefit from the bird manure or insect removal). Another example could be an orchid growing on a tree. (Aren’t trees cool!)

Predation is also considered by some to be a symbiotic relationship. One could argue that predation provides some benefit to both the predator and prey. For example, the predation of the coyote on the rabbit eliminates the sick or unfit rabbits, providing more room for the healthy ones, and encouraging the evolutionary success of the fastest rabbits.

Another type of symbiotic relationship is competition between the same or similar species. I think the best example of this is described in the Pulitzer Prize winning book The Beak of the Finch: A story of evolution in our Time, by Jonathan Weiner, published in 1994. In The Beak of the Finch Weiner describes how environmental pressures cause variations in finch beaks, with some benefiting and specializing as their beaks evolve to best reach the various types of seeds and other food available as conditions change. Since reading this book (highly recommended!) I have become more deeply aware of evolutionary pressures and how they have influenced all of life.

But the relationship between the cuscota and the bougainvillea is a parasitical relationship that kills the host solely for the benefit of the parasite.

In biology, symbiotic relationships are generally between two different species (other than competitive relationships, which can lead to different species). However it seems psychologists have adopted symbiosis to describe human interpersonal relationships as well.

Competitive relationships can be symbiotic, as when two different teams constantly improve so as to defeat their rivals.

And of course we also find predation in human relationships. Criminal predators come to mind.

Commensalism is more difficult to find in relationships between humans. The only example I could find were people who survive from the castoffs of others. Those that get their food and shelter from the town dump, say. Arguably there is no cost to those whose garbage is consumed by these poor people, although surely we are upset by this. Did you ever hear of Pagpag? It is leftover food that hungry people in the Philippines rely on it for survival.

Mutualism is easier to find in humans. Arguably all successful societies are built on mutualism. And hopefully families provide mutually beneficial relationships to all within the family group. The baby reciprocates love with love. Good partners are simpatico, they get along well with each other and provide a welcoming environment that permits each party to fulfill their capacity for happiness. The greatest need of human beings is to be appreciated and understood. This can only happen when there is mutual respect.

But let’s talk about those human relationships that are like the cuscota, parasitical relationships. Relationships in which one person takes from the other at the expense of the other, taking but never giving, at the expense of the host. Those who are the parasites in these relationships suffer as much if not more than those who are being parasitized. If you are a parasite on others, you are not in control of your life. Rather you are dependent on others and therefore cannot reach your own happiness.

Now everyone who reads this will probable think to themselves that they are not a parasite. And perhaps I am exaggerating here a bit.

But I stumbled on this Video on TikTok which gave me pause. I will paraphrase the speaker:

“The fastest way to take control of your life is to stop trying to control everyone around you. You have no idea how much time and energy you are wasting trying to control other people. You have no idea how much energy you are burning through thinking about, worrying about, obsessing about what other people are thinking, are doing, or should be doing, all of which you have zero control over.”

If we try to control others, perhaps subconsciously, we may not be a parasite, but we are certainly not focusing on fulfilling our own potential, and we are interfering with the natural growth of those others we seek to control.

In Creating Human Symbiotic Relationships, published in Psychology Today, the author Bruce Wilson focuses on relationships that are horizontal rather than vertical. Horizontal relationships are those which are equal, not vertical, and not parasitical.

Our organism did not evolve to be a parasite like the cuscota. Only by releasing others and focusing on our own potential can we truly be happy. Let’s all be simpatico!